Tuesday, September 8, 2009


So today was the first day of college. NO different from highschool. Reminds me of my first day in grade ten. The day where my life changed. I thought I would be that smart hot cool girl that everyone would love! Pffff as IF! I was so damn wrong. People were so judgemental and rude. I was "different" from others but I didn't know why :-S It was really dumb. Anyways, that year I tried out smoking weed and then began smoking regular cigarettes. I don't know why I did it. For fun I guess? Or was it because I just wanted to "fit in". Whatever reason I did it, it was STUPID! Now when I think about it I really regret doing that. But I don't regret learning from it. Everything happens for a reason so now I know what to stay away from. But let me tell you, you don't have to try something to learn it's bad for you! Smart people know it's bad from you through research and common sense. Why pay money to kill yourself? I don't know. I was doing much much more during that year. But I'll leave that for another blog!! Keep you posted!

Chow :)

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A Thought Of Sadness

So, they say the color blue represents sad feelings. And that's why I chose the color blue.

You know just when you think everything is going the way you want it and you've got a tight grip on life, it's starts to slip. Just like a bar of soap, hold on too tight and it's slipping right out of your hand. I believe we CAN control these things in life it's just a matter of understanding how to. For instance, this guy I have been with for almost 9 months, we have never done anything sexual and I know for a fact it's love and not lust we share. Now the last 8 months were the best ever. He'd write me poems, tell me he loves me everyday, just doing things that would show he cares and NEVER...NEVER has he ever put a frown on my face or a tear in my eye. So I stood in love. For once in my life not falling put standing high and proud for my feelings for this guy. Now what has changed? This last month was rocky. Constant fights and arguments. For no apparent reason! But at the end of the day I would apologize and it's over with. MY FIRST MISTAKE. Apologize for nothing? That was MY sign of weakness. Ladies do NOT make that mistake because once he sees he has you weak you're nothing but a piece of meat. When he wants you he'll have you and when he doesn't he'll toss you but no matter what you'll always be there!! It's a mind game. But you can figure out his game... and well lil mama's it takes two to tango and 2 can play that game. So let the player become the playee and take control of the situation. He seems like he doesn't want to talk well give him his space. Let him see you also have better things to do then wait around for him to come around!! Seriously guys do not want an easy to get with or a pleading desperate girl. They LOVE the chase. The hard to get girls. If you're always available then what challenge does he have? NONE! And that's when it starts to fall. So NOW I have learned my lesson and NOW I know no matter what guy I will keep my pride high and will never lower myself for anyone BUT God. Only One that will stick around no matter what!!! Anyways, now you know to slowly lure him into the trap he has made for you and when he's in walk away... let HIM find his way out and find YOU. Don't always let yourself be found or available. Because remember YOU too have better things to do ;)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


So I thought this would be the best experience I ever had... boy was I ever wrong!!! This is HORRIBLE! I'm soo alone without my family. It's true what they say, "You never miss a good thing until it's gone" And damn do I ever miss my father. You know how it is, a young girl living at home with her father RARELY any freedom because of the fact that she is his pride and he fears for her reputation to be ruined... well I got that ALL THE TIME!! But I don't regret it, matter of fact I wish he would've sheltered me in a far more conservative way. Because in all honesty I was let loose and took complete advantage of my freedom and took it to another level. What an asshole I was. My parents gave me complete trust and I took it for granted. And what did I get in return? Nothing but a shitty experience and plenty of mistakes. So my first night alone, not a fun night at all. Already feeling home sick. Feel like breaking down in tears. I may have so much experience but no matter what your age or level of maturity, you will always feel torn when you are apart from your family. It's very hard to get used to, but in God's willing I will become a stronger individual!! I'm going to go write a poem now since I'm feeling down. It's what I do best. I'll share it with my readers and then give another little experience of my past days :) Oh and for my friend BEANIZER Believe me I am also a kid at heart because I love having fun, but when I get into serious conversations or when it is time to be serious people are always shocked by my level of maturity and the amount of knowledge I carry :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

About Me

Well, today will be my first day living away from home. I know I'm going to get bored and feel lonely so I think what I'll do is go out and explore the area :)

Today I'll talk about myself. I am 20 years old with the mind of a 30 year old. I have always been told I'm "too mature" for my age. I always disagreed. I know when it's time to have fun and when it's time to be serious. Anyways, over-all I'm a very positive happy person who enjoys sunny days, walks along the beach and anything fun without having to intoxicate yourself. Although I was born on August 4th 1989, my life started when I was 15. That's when it all happened. I believe this because that's when I started to become independent and my life totally changed from a sheltered young girl to an independent young woman! Perhaps if you keep reading you will tell why and what events have made me the woman I am today!

Thursday, August 27, 2009


I've been wanting to do this blogging for a while now. I have many experiences I want to share. I've been through a lot these last 5 years that I feel as though I'm at the age of 30. The things I have seen, done, and been through you wouldn't imagine. I somehow escaped death more than twice and yet here I am healthy and ready to keep going with life and it's surprises. Prepare yourselves for a journey beyond belief.